This was an entertaining episode of television. It was a middling episode of Game of Thrones. At the core of A Song of Ice and Fire and the early seasons of its adaptation is the attention to detail. It takes time to go places and actions have consequences. These is the biggest problem facing latter day Thrones. Cersei blows up the Sept? She’s queen. Cersei decides not to help fight the ARMY OF THE UNDEAD. She’s right not to. Now her enemy is severely weakened, and her army is none the worse for wear. Jon and the gang create one of the most comically stupid battle plans in the history of television? Everyone is fine except Lyanna Mormont, Beric Dondarrion, and Jorah Mormont. Harsh consequences. There is also the infamous “jetpacking” the show has utilized in recent seasons. Characters seem to just teleport from place to place. How long would the trip from Winterfell to Dragonstone have taken in Season One? Probably an episode and a half to two episodes. That’s how long it takes Ned and the gang to reach King’s Landing. It takes about three scenes in this episode. The accelerated pacing has left the physicality and relations between locations on the show confusing and borderline nonsensical.
That brings us to “The Last of the Starks.” The opening of this episode features a big party as everyone (rightfully) celebrates the fact they survived the army of the undead. Dany is feeling lonely because she is distant tyrant and no likes her. They all like her lover/political rival/secret nephew. Because he’s a nice guy that just wants peace and safety for everyone. When Gendry tries to sneak out to find Arya (who is not a party girl), Dany stops him and declares him the rightful lord of Storm’s End and a legitimate son of Robert Baratheon. Which means he has the best claim to throne, right? Everyone toasts him and Arya. Gendry finally escapes the party to almost get shot by Arya practicing her bow skills because it’s the only fun thing she does now. They have a make out session before Gendry proposes and my girl curb stomps his heart. Which I appreciate because Arya has said, literally from day one, that she’ll never be a lady in a castle somewhere. And good for her! Do you, Arya.
Elsewhere, Jaime, Tyrion, and Brienne are playing a drinking game (Pod is also there). Its revealed Brienne is a virgin and she is mocked for it. Of course, she storms off. Jaime later comes to her room and starts undressing himself. Its cool that Brienne is into him and all, but maybe wait to be invited to undress. Anyway, they have sex. And later in the episode, they have a big fight where Brienne cries and begs for Jaime not to go to King’s Landing after he decided to stay with here when Dany’s army left Winterfell. He goes. This has been a controversial scene because some people believe Brienne shouldn’t be turned in a “hysterical mess” when Jaime leaves and others think that even strong women cry sometimes and don’t want to see their loved ones die. I think these are fair arguments, but I’m on team Brienne wouldn’t do that. She might use the same words, but I believe she would have a different demeanor. Ser Brienne of Tarth is someone that has learned how to control her emotions given the constant mocking she has faced throughout her life. Maybe she thought this was the best way to get through to Jaime? I’m not really sure. I didn’t care for it.
After all the partying goes down, Dany meets Jon in his room where they talk about how they’re family. They also talk about how much they love each other. It’s a weird balance this show must pull off. Dany begs Jon to never tell anyone, it’ll be their little secret. Jon wants to tell his sisters/cousins. Dany tells him not to because they will try to dethrone her and put him on the throne whether he wants it or not. Cut to the next day and Jon, Sansa, Arya, and I’m-not-Bran-I’m-the-Three-Eyed-Raven are gathered in the Godswood. Jon, your girlfriend asked you to do one thing. You failed. And even worse, you didn’t tell Sansa and Arya yourself! You made Not-your-brother do it! The worst part of this scene though is that we neither see the beans spilled nor the sisters’ reactions to it. Instead, we next see Arya headed to King’s Landing with the Hound. Sansa watches her bannermen leave and has a word with Tyrion. As Tyrion leaves, Sansa breaks the promise she made to Jon and tells Tyrion. But, again, we don’t actually see that!
Jon says goodbye to his family and friends. Sam and Gilly are going to have a kid. Good for them. They deserve it. They want to name it Jon if it’s a boy. Jon doesn’t seem comfortable with that (Does he want them to name it Aegon or just not after him at all?). Jon also says goodbye to Tormund who is taking the Wildings back north since the Night King and his army are dead. Finally, Tormund is gone. He’s been such a one note character on the show, especially this season. I’m ready to move on. Jon tells him to take Ghost with him, once again demonstrating that the show has no clue why the dire wolves where ever here.
On the 12-minute trip to Dragonstone, Varys and Tyrion discuss marrying Jon and Dany. They decide Dany won’t go for it (But, like, why?). They then discuss a coup, something Varys is very here for (They have virtually the same conversation again later in the episode). Dany’s navy then gets near Dragonstone and Surprise! The fortress that would make a perfect launch point to take King’s Landing you left totally unguarded is no longer unguarded. Euron and his gang are there with several giant crossbows. They shoot Rhaegal out of the sky. RIP. At least one of the ships in Dany’s fleet gets destroyed. This feels like the prefect time for an epic battle sequence. Instead, we cut to the aftermath and Varys and Grey Worm washing up on a shore. I understand the show didn’t show many battles early on, but at this point, they love to so what gives? Did they not budget appropriately? Also, how did they 1. Not at least anticipate the possibility of Cersei have troops at Dragonstone? And 2. NOT SEE THEM FROM ABOVE. DANY WAS RIDING A DRAGON.
Euron teleports back to the Red Keep and discovers Cersei is pregnant (Probably, but probably not because of Euron). They also captured Missandei I guess. This all leads to the big confrontation at the end of the episode. Dany shows up (read: jetpacks) outside King’s Landing because she has been convinced to offer Cersei mercy. Shockingly, Cersei refuses and has the Mountain decapitate Missandei. But not before allowing her a final message: Dracarys. That was a cool moment. Dany then storms off and the episode ends.
So, here’s the thing. There’s a ton of fun sequences and conversations in this episode, including some I left out (Hi Bron). But it is undercut by the absurd pacing of the episode. It covers four days I think. The trip from Winterfell to Dragonstone to King’s Landing (by land) is more than four days. Plus the day or so that passes before they even set off. It sure seems like the show had two to three full seasons of content left to film but decided to split it into two seasons with a total of 13 episodes. And the show is significantly worse for it. This includes the garbage military plans the characters (excluding Cersei) repeatedly use. Why did no one send out scout ships? How long will it take Jon and the land forces to arrive? Probably about 7 minutes of the next episode. And again, no one faces any sort of repercussions for their poor decision making! It's infuriating what this show has become because it used to be something different. Something clever and well thought out. Now it’s just the most expensive, rushed fantasy show of all time. But it’s still generally entertaining on a moment to moment basis. Also, why is this episode titled “The Last of the Starks?” This is an episode that is mostly about everyone else. But whatever.
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